Dialogue between Pope and Peter

by Priest Athanasius from Ambracia (18th century)

(Translated by Nikolaos Mannis, from an very old greek manuscript - see here)

The Pope dies and arrives at the gates of Paradise where he meets the Apostle Peter. At the end of each dialogue there is a phrase based on the Lord's Prayer.

POPE

Open the gates for me, Peter, to your own Pope,

whom Christ loved more than you,

because since I died, I've lost the key,

and now I don't know who has it.

Come all saints, with psalms and hymns today,

because I am the one to whom you used to say 

"Our Father"

PETER

Father, where did you just come from?

and to the gates of heaven do you come?

And you are not ashamed to say such things,

all your life collecting vanity's winds?

Having amblyopia and running in the night,

how now you see so alright

"in the heavens"?

POPE

And who are you to resist me

and so boldly to answer me?

Don't you know Peter's privilege and boldness 
and the greatest power he has from Christ?

What you say is illiterate,

because you had to tell me

"hallowed be thy name".

PETER

I myself am Peter, oh fool.

You say lies to all:

"I do as I was taught by Peter

when to his throne I ascended".

You always lived with impiety

so how do you call

"thy kingdom come"?

POPE
Oh Peter my sweet brag,
I never expected that,
to hear and learn from your holiness,
because equally I with your piousness
i participate. Αnd your voice had to tell me
"thy will be done".

PETER
On earth you tyrannically did your will,
you put your name above every authority.
And to those who wanted and to those who didn't.
That is enough for you. Don't expect that anymore
that you will begin to rule with seizure
"in heaven as it is on earth"!

POPE
Oh Peter, I didn't do it tyrannically
but I ruled rather paternally.
Because I advised kings and lords
and I enacted laws for all in the world.
Everyone here was shouting at me:
Father, "Give us this day our daily bread".

PETER
I know you brag about charity,
as well as that you are hiding for deviltry
because you also collected a lot of wealth
and the more it was, you found as pretext
you took the money, supposedly because for you to
"forgive" the "trespasses" of the people.

POPE
Yes indeed, but I was collecting alms from others,
and I gave it to others, doing kindness.
So that those who offered, to ask forgiveness 
from me -  an apology for their sins.
And they all told me "forgive us our trespasses", Father, 
"as we forgive those who trespass against us".

PETER
You mean, by you they asked forgiveness from you
and they made you the salvation's giver?
Here it is what divided the Church,
because you "lead into temptation" the people of the earth.
You touched every bad and bold thing
and you never said to Christ: "Deliver me from evil".

So now, fall down from Heaven, Anti-Peter.

So, this is the end of the Pope. 
Deliver us, Lord, from him cursed one,
and put him in the Fallen's place.